Fun with Guests

Not to be terrifically mocking, but British people in general have some things to learn about hosting guests. Now British culture is not nearly as in-your-face-damnably-chipper-so-people-want-to-slap-you as US hosting would tend towards (or maybe it is just my privilege to be Southern).

However, there are loads of good things to be said for being in-your-face-damnably-chipper-so-people-want-to-slap-you, because at least guests are able to have some sort of emotion or want to take some sort of action (even if that is a violent outburst) instead of just sitting stiff-upper-lipped, idly uncomfortable and rawther stuck. Perhaps Martha Stewart needs to be a little more popular in this country.

There is a contingent of visitors to the university here this week, about 40 of them. Most of them are Asian, but there are also some African and US attendees. I have not been involved in the planning of this, and so am totally tacky in my armchair quarterbacking, BUT it seems a good and amusing thing to tell a small story about last evening...

So, Sally kindly collected me (light laughter here from our Texas contingent of readers) from my abode approximately 5 minutes before 7pm (19.00 on our 24-hour time system) and we tootled off to Ye Olde Wildebeest Pubbe (or something involving a Wildebeest), where the coach full of guests was expected to arrive for drinks at 7.30pm and then dinner at 8.00. Upon our approach down the country lane toward the pub, we encountered a coach heading in the opposite direction. This was slightly unusual and despite the noticeable number of Asian faces in the windows, we decided it couldn't be the same coach with UEA guests. We were incorrect.

Upon reaching the pub were told that the coach had indeed been that same one, but was having to go a different way due to a double 90* turn bridge. (More humour comes in here in a moment)

So, we had a glass of wine and stood around catching up with everyone (and reintroducing on my part since people didn't recognise me due to extended absence). Then the conversation started to get a slightly thin (not a little due to a certain pompous short man who unfortunately finds himself in a position of power and enjoys asking inane and irrelevant questions just to prove that you are unable to answer them -- I was gleeful to have chosen to wear 2.5 inch heels. HA!), and 7.45 came and went.

Then 8.00 came and went. The pompous little man started getting antsy and bustling about on his mobile, again giving me a cruel sense of pleasure.

Then 8.30 came and went and the atmosphere started to get hysterically funny in a tragic sort of way.

Approximately 8.45, our poor guests finally disembarked. We shoved drinks in their hands and ushered them to seats for instant food. Several were slightly flustrated and frustered (these being the fully intended morphs of these words), and sadly most of these were the Americans (we give a lot of care, only to guests though, and we expect a lot of care, which can be a good and a bad thing. no judgement given by me here.).

Firstly, they had been collected (pause for tittering) from their hotel (Dunstan Hall, which is easy to see on the Wildebeest Arms review map, linked farther above) at 7.00. Said hotel being less than 2 miles from this pub...

Secondly, the twin 90* turns at the impassable bridge were approximately a 5 minute walk from the pub.

Thirdly, not one, but TWO of the guests, had been commandeered by the bus driver to debark and direct the bus in its backing endeavours using the sophisticated equipment of a flashlight (torch). It appears to have been jovially agreed to by the two lucky guests until they realised (mentally and physically) that this involved quite a bit of darkness, danger and large vehicular reversing for a distance approaching 2 miles.

Fourthly, how choice that one of the guest selected for this backwards-running-torch-carrying venture through East Anglian darkness was one of the American partners (in exchange programs) who we (that is, my mostly vacant position, admittedly) most severely vexed and angered last year! This trip was supposed to be a pleasant experience to smooth over these ruffled feelings, and hopefully a few pints will... but STILL!

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And now, 'tis time for tonight's adventure :)