Monday 11 June 2007

Maths

Now, admittedly, I am not the most clever of creatures when it comes to maths. I like to spell.

However, numbers do have some sort of odd amusing quality for me (esp. when am not being assessed on my abilities to make them do things), and so I do have a basic understanding of if the map of numbers is working or not.

Today, have been doing expense reports. At the best of times, this is painful (although, the sneaky receipt from Santa Fe Restaurant in Tarrytown, NY DID reappear after hiding in the Minneapolis pile just to peeve me and watch me tear my desk apart, because I knew I had seen it not 2 hours earlier). In the good old admissions office at Cemetary College, I had quite the reputation for delaying the expense report as long as possible after a trip, even if money was coming back to me (yes, we know this is silly), just because it is such a horrifically mind-bending experience (I mean, the balance of my own bank account is mostly determined by a delicate balance of telepathy and hunger... I am not a bean counter, even if beans are due me). Timmy Prowly McCrowley had to chase those forms out of my office. And today... I miss those darn forms. (gasp!)

There is not one form with all information on it here in the IO -- there are three. Or at least three that I know of -- one for credit card charges, one for cash from the office accounts, and one for cash of your own which you have stupidly used. I will just let readers infer what trauma this has inflicted on my Monday brain.

*******
So, finally, two of the reports were done. Tomorrow will be for the 'cash of your own that you stupidly used' (you big twonk).

No more maths!

Or so, I thought...

Here is the fun conjuring problem for clever monkeys to puzzle over. Accommodation Office has yet to get back to me on this one (smirk).

SCENARIO:
* Student A pays Organisation 1 for the privilege of studying at University Q in England. Hoorah.
* Uni Q (amusing language reference here) is supposed to bill Org1 for costs of tuition and room. Just to make it more fun, this information is not written down anywhere for people new to their jobs to know.
* Uni Q bills students directly for more than they paid to Org 1 in first place.
* Uni Q employees get a new eardrum perforation from person in charge of Org 1.
* When Org 1 person-in-charge is invited to party at a conference, he is much nicer, although still rather irate (in the nicest of irate ways, and completely understandably) about the fact that Uni Q has cost him quite a bit of money and this needs sorting.
* Placating New Employee of Uni Q agrees and makes attempt to figure out difference between what was quoted and what was billed, so as to propose to boss that difference be covered out of our budget instilling feeling of Customer Service into relationship with Org 1.

This is just a part of what PNE found in the instance of Student A (all the others are different -- fun!):

1. there is no proof of what was quoted
2. accommodation brochure 2006-07 lists costs per week at £54.39 in Hall Z
3. student has been billed per night for 88 nights
4. 88 nights = 12.57 weeks
5. £54.39 * 12.57 weeks = £683.76
6. student account has been billed for £794.64
7. if we take £54.39 and divide by 7 for a daily rate, we get £7.77 per night
8. if we take £794.64 and divide by 88 nights, we get £9.03 per night
9. Hmmmm

CONCLUSION:
Something is wrong here. And it is NOTHING to do with my math!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would check and see if the price per night is more expensive than the per week.

Unknown said...

Or maybe You are not working it out properly. You have to use advanced mathematics. You have to use imaginary numbers so that you can multiply zero and come out with a positive integer. That is where the additional amount comes from. They charge you for nothing. At a rate of 23 pence possible per possible service that they could have provided but didn't, that works out at and extra 2 pounds and three sheckels per day which you round up to a goat.

There you go, problem solved.

Anonymous said...

Mmmmmmmm Goat...

Al keeps wanting to have a goat roast...

I've said no. BBQ and Crawfish are fine.

Goat would be good to keep the grass down though.