Tuesday 19 August 2008

Common Language, indeed

We all know the language barriers that are so comical and with which people on either side of the Atlantic like to mock and irritate The Other.

Things like pants, elevator, suspenders, and Hokey Pokey (yeah. they call it Hokey Cokey here for some prudish aversion to saying anything reminiscent of poking presumably. For interested comparative linguists, Australia also calls it the Hokey Pokey; I guess the Colonials were selectively Puritanical.).

Well, it is all fun and games until the differences indicate how one is supposed to be doing something, and you are in danger of veering off the track of meaning and crashing your crochet hook into a brick wall.

After my blooming success with the tea cosy flower-top (that is annoying, I know, but it amuses me), am venturing further down the dark path of crocheting with a project that some people call mad and overly optimistic. So, I have a book from the library, which is actually quite helpful in diagrams and simplistic instructions and such, but when trying to figure out how to follow one of the patterns, I thought, 'Yes. Yes, this is all very familiar in Step1, Step2, etc., but my memory has noooooo recollection of learning anything called a 'double treble crochet' or a 'triple treble crochet'. Do I need to go to a neurosurgeon? Because forgetting something with a ridiculous name like that is a bad sign...'

However, there seems to be a chart in the back of the book (on the second to last page before the index, unhelpfully), which has deferred Commitment (in the mental asylum sense) for the time being.

double crochet (UK) = single crochet (US)
extended double crochet (UK) = extended single crochet (US)

half treble crochet (UK) = half double crochet (US)

treble crochet (UK) = double crochet (US)

double treble crochet (UK) = treble crochet (US)

triple treble crochet (UK) = double treble crochet (US)


I believe alert readers will notice the potential for devastating tragedy here, rendering the active participant in the 'relaxing past-time' as nothing more than a quivering lump on the corner of the sofa. But I am bull-headed enough to continue this enterprise that I have resigned myself to having to flip back and forth between pattern and chart (this goes against my deepest sensibilities, however, as this is really the same crippling behaviour as SatNav/GPS-addicted morons). If I were a cat, I would flip my tail in annoyance during this activity.

Beside my confusion at terminology, I may also have become a culinary traitor... last evening I cooked a Jambalaya, using a sauce from the Seasoned Pioneers Gourmet Cooking Sauces range. To make up for my transgression, atonement was attempted by using Africa Hot sausage from the market, some organic chicken, some king prawns (normal sized shrimp to people from Louisiana, but which name allows them to charge more here) and some Norfolk crayfish (crawfish, in case there was any confusion). Outcome was good.... but I am not sure it qualifies as Jambalaya. It was not graced with cornbread, as its worthiness was uncertain. Ingredients on the packet disturbingly list oregano... again, I don't think we use oregano in things that are not I-talian!! And, do we use fennel and cardamom in Cajun food? Paul, you may now take the floor.

This image has absolutely nothing to do with this blog, but as it is almost tea time (aka, dinner time), and this was outside a little cafe during Dawn and Matthew's trip, it just seems appropriate in a Norfolk sort of way. The badger appears to be saying 'mmmmmm' in his little speech bubble and it is unclear whether he is on the menu or just enjoying the menu... We did not breakfast there.

1 comment:

Paul said...

"oregano... again, I don't think we use oregano in things that are not I-talian!! And, do we use fennel and cardamom"

This is just soooooo wrong... Its like that cat with four ears...

You could have used the cornbread to counter the EVIL effects...

Do you need more supplies?