Amaryllis Rapist

Last night, I foolishly forgot to bring my plants in from the front stoop.

Now, they have stayed outside overnight before but, as a mediocre parent, I usually try to bring them in to protect them from unwanted contact with the detritus that seems to be increasingly becoming our 'society'.

Sadly, the very pretty Apple amaryllis was assaulted and beheaded in the night (and I think I know exactly when it was as a sense of something awry seemed to invade my counsciousness at approximately 5.37am -- this is a fact because i looked at the clock but dismissed the noise). It was a lovely stalk with two flowers and a bud.

The beheading came to my attention as a grumpy Bruner was beginning her cycle to work without enough tea. Grumpy Bruners without enough tea can be incited to cry with the very slightest of provocations, but I withstood the temptation.

Upon my return home, the beheaded flower has now been placed not on a pike (as an example of what I would like to do to the cretin who committed this offence) but in a latte cup on my desk so as to be seen through the window as a sort of middle finger salute to said heathen.

I hope a pigeon suffers from eating too much curry and it lands on the travesty of a ''human's'' lice-ridden and scabby pate. And that they get scurvy.