Wednesday 18 June 2008

Too many corks.

There is no such thing.



Especially, when one is trying to create a piece of kitsch. B and E have raised many eyebrows at my screeching about cork wastage (I am sure there is also a climatic crisis related to cork somewhere, so this was also me being environmentally friendly -- in addition to the psychotic control I was attempting to inflect).

This screeching began in approximately September 2006 and continues to the present day.


This past weekend, E got tired of my protestations that one day a frame would leap from the appropriate shelf in a charity shop, offering itself on the altar of Martha Stewart. And he built me my very own frame (with materials from Thorn's, one of my favourite stores in Norwich, the olde tyme style hardware and everything store -- kind of like King's Hardware used to be before the yuppies hogged consumption). Isn't he fabulous! Isn't said frame fabulous!


(It will be painted black before the corks are glued, and I have to keep reminding myself this because the glue is calling to me)


Alas, and alack! We can see upon perusal of the evidenciary photo above that there are NOT enough flipping CORKS.


Any donations of corks (real ones, please, as the plastic ones will just look tacky. Being from the South, 'tackiness' is the 8th Deadly Sin.) will be gratefully welcomed, as my accumulation (and those commandeered from above-mentioned and abused E and B) is woefully lacking and only covers approximately 1/3 of the board.


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Other people are funny.


I am never amusing. Or comical. Or a sitcom character. My descriptive adjectives include: serious, sober (in the intellectual sense), and premeditative.


So, E found this shopping list in the sidewalk (aka, pavement) in front of his abode. And it just makes me giggle. Here we go, verbatim. It is the shopping list of the 21st century.


cat food
litter
rat food
vodka
camera
razor
hair dye

... and off to the side '£25 petrol'


Titter.


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I would also like to point out something else amusing from the past week. The morning DJ was discussing the news and did this (atrocious) American accent saying, 'Oh. My. Gosh! Gas is almost $4.00 a gallon!' This is equivalent to about 50 pence per litre (petrol is £1.17 a litre here -- about $10.00 per gallon). His suggestion was that maybe the UK could consider starting a relief fund...


It is interesting that Bush is proposing that the American public might question the Democratic-led Congress's decision to disallow all petroleum investigation in American territory. Funnily enough this article words it slightly differently than the verbal report of the radio address I received earlier. Funny that...

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In other news, Ysolde Allegra Eloise is here -- well, 18.06 this evening! (this is Clem and Richard's dramatic girl, who has made a fashionably late appearance 13 days after she was due)

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